The fool
by Marie Z
Summary: She had never been a stupid little girl as some people might have thought at the beggining. She was a pretty interesting person, Harry had realised. But somehow, at the moment she felt like a fool.I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love wi


She had never been a stupid little girl as some people might have thought at the beggining. She was a pretty interesting person, Harry had realised. But somehow, at the moment she felt like the stupider person in the whole wide world. _"I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you"_

Disclaimer: (Obviously) I don't own Harry Potter. This fic was inspired by one of Lee Ann Womack's songs, The fool. And the lyrics at the fic are hers also.

The fool

Lavender Brown looked at a terrified-looking Harry Potter. He had kneeled in front of her and had opened one little box… with a ring in it.

The woman had just got back from work and found him going up and down for almost ten times before he noticed her. He had prepared dinner which made Lavender suspicious. When he actually offered to do the washing himself later, she knew that something was going on.

"What's going on?" she asked but he had already opened one little red box, offering her the ring. "Will you marry me, Lavender Brown?"

There was something in his eyes… Something weird… It was like sadness was all over his face for just a minute when he had asked her. But when she blinked, it was gone.

_"You don't know me, but I know who you are  
Mind if I sit down?  
Do I look familiar, if I don't, well, I should  
I'm sure you've seen me around  
I know you've probably heard my name  
Though, we've not been introduced"_

She looked at him blankly for a minute, speechless.

"Wow, it's the first time I actually leave you speechless" he said trying to smile but failing dismally. 

Lavender laughed at his nervous look, while he was waiting for her answer.

"You look quite nervous" she told him, grinning at him.

"I am nervous…" he said but looked like he couldn't say anything more. His face was paler than she had ever seen him but his ears were as red as the box in his hands. How could his face be pale and his ears so red anyway?

Lavender tried to get all the useless thoughts out of her head.

"Er…well… YEAH!" she almost screamed and hugged him as though she wanted to blow him off.

And then he had kissed her. A deep and pure kiss. A kiss different than any other they had had until then. 

Later that night, Lavender was sitting on the couch, with a glass of fire whiskey in her hand. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't sleep. She just sat there starring at the ring decorating her finger, thinking of what had really happened that day.

And then she noticed a piece of paper that although it looked new, it seemed like it was opened and closed like a thousand times.  
The paper read:

_11.1.2005_

Dear Harry and Lavender,  
How are you? I'm so sorry I haven't written to you for so long but I've been really busy with some kind of…preparations. Well, guess what? Ron and I (finally!) got together and we're getting married next month! I can almost imagine Harry's mouth falling open and Lavender starring in astonishment! I know, it's so great! Of course, you're both invited to the wedding, but why don't you both come over at my place on Saturday? Ron and Ginny are coming too.  
I can't wait to see you!  
Hermione.

"I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you."

She couldn't believe her eyes. She reread the letter a couple of times and pinched herself quite hard to make sure this wasn't a dream. Hermione and Ron are getting married… Harry suddenly proposed to her, and he didn't even bother to tell her about the letter, since it had been sent like four days ago. And suddenly it all clicked. Everything was now painfully clear in her head.

Harry was in love with Hermione almost as soon as he had met her. But he was always too busy being the hero he was supposed to be. Too busy to even notice at first and then, too busy to find the time to tell Hermione how he really felt about her.

When she kissed Ron in their sixth year, something inside him screamed desperately to catch his attention and it did. But he never had time… Or maybe it was something else… Something else he didn't have. Bravery. It was a fact that he had fought and survived the fights with Voldermort more times in his sixteen years of life than anyone in the world in their whole life. And he could do it. He wasn't afraid of him. But he was so afraid, he was quaking in his boots even at the thought of telling her.

Eventually he gave up. He just dated other girls, hoping that one day he would find one almost as good as Hermione. Almost… 

And he ended up with Lavender.

She knew from their first date that he was still in love with her. From their first kiss. It was full of passion and love, but not for her, for another girl. She was so foolish back then though. She thought that as far as he didn't mention anything, why should she? And what if she was wrong? He would look at her like she was crazy or something. But she knew very well that she wasn't.

And then time passed. They had been together for two years and now they were also living together. Everything was fine. And there was really nothing she could do about it now. Her friends were telling her that he was going to propose to her any time.

Now he had. But it was nothing like she had dreamt of. She didn't want their marriage to be forced. This was wrong, everything was wrong.

She went to her bedroom, where he was sleeping. He was actually smiling. Maybe he was happy that she accepted to marry him. The idea that it was all in her head sounded really tempting…

And then she heard him mumbling something. It was more like a groaning but the second time it sounded more like a word… She closed her ears, she didn't want to hear it again. "Hermione", that's what he was saying. Her heart broke. She tried to push it away, she tried to fight it away, but it always found its way back into her head, her heart… "Hermione"…

_"If you've got a minute, I'll buy you a drink  
I've got something to say  
It might sound crazy but last night in his sleep  
I heard him call out your name  
This ain't the first time he's done it  
And it's hard to face the truth."_

And it really was hard.

Harry's sudden proposal made the truth painfully clear to her.

And Lavender somehow felt like a consolation prize – the one he was with because he couldn't be with the one he truly wanted. She felt like his proposal was some kind of defense against his best friends' marriage. And she couldn't help but believe she was right.

She stared at the recently written letter and tried to hate Hermione, truly hate her. Because she was the reason Harry couldn't love her with all his heart, she was the reason they could never be truly in love, she was the reason all of this was happening!

She was surprised to find out that fat, salty tears were rolling down her face. She didn't bother to wipe them away though. She just let them.

But Lavender also found out that she couldn't hate Hermione. She was her friend, one of the best friends she ever had. Although it felt quite good blaming her for her misery and for everything, she realized that it wasn't Hermione's fault, neither Harry's and of course, not hers. It was nobody's fault. I t had just happened. 

But that wouldn't make the pain go away.

_"I know love is a fragile thing  
And I'm trying hard to make it last  
But it ain't easy holding on to my dream  
When he's holding on to the past"_

Whether she liked or not, she had no other option. The tears almost made her blind now, she could barely make it to the little kitchen and sat at a chair. She took a paper and a pencil and wrote with a dangerously trembling hand that she couldn't do it…

_"Harry,  
You know how much I love you. And I do know that you love me too, up to a point.  
I've found the letter, Harry. I know why you proposed to me. Maybe you yourself haven't realized that yet, but you should. Hermione is getting married and that hurts you. 53  
Now, I understand you did everything you could to get over her. And I was there for you, I tried to help you but whatever I did, you were still in love with her. Maybe you should tell her, maybe that will make you feel better. Maybe one day you'll be able to love properly again. Maybe…  
When that day comes, I hope you'll finally find the love of your life.   
Until then, keep the ring.  
Lavender. _

She placed the letter on the table and the ring next to it. Then took her purse and left the apartment. She didn't know where she would go, she just knew she had to get out of there.

_"Just one thing before I go  
I'm not here to put you down  
You don't love him and that's a fact  
Girl, I've seen you around  
But you hold his heart in the palm of your hand  
And it's breaking mine in two" _

And she just hoped that one day she would also find the love of her life, someone who would love her as her and not as someone else, with his whole heart.  
She saw a star falling, closed her eyes, made her wish and just hoped it would come true, some day… And then maybe she could be happy and believe in falling stars…

_"I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you."_

A/N: Like it? Hate it? Please review and let me know:)


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